P90X: How it helped me NOT get mugged
Last week, I started doing P90X in addition to the swimming, cycling and running I do. I went through a 12 week training block for an Olympic distance triathlon, and just wasn’t feeling like I had gained any speed in any of the three sports, so I felt like I needed to change something up. 2 summers ago, while working an insane month of nights, I haphazardly ordered the P90X DVD’s. Soon after, I lent them to my friend Dean so he could get in ripped shape for his wedding. I don’t think he ever took them out of the box. After 2 years, I finally got them back and did my first set of workouts last week. I chose the “Lean” version because in the past I’ve packed on muscle quickly and easily when doing weight lifting programs, something I want to avoid if I’m going to race.
On Saturday, I had my first Kenpo X workout. Kenpo is a form of Karate developed in Hawaii, according the manual with the DVD’s. To me, it was a Taebo or Cardio Kickboxing type of thing for an hour. I had never done one of those workouts, and for the first 20 minutes, I looked like an uncoordinated circus clown flailing my arms and legs in the air uncontrollably. By the end, I was into the “punch, block, kick forward, kick backward” rhythm Mr. Horton was roaring at us from the TV. When it was all over, I was an air punching machine!
Later that afternoon, I was on the Red Line to go swimming at Lincoln Park Athletic Club. As always, I had my headphones on, listening to Pandora through my Blackberry. Between Addison and Belmont, I saw someone out of the corner of my eye sitting in a crowded train, hawk a huge pile of spit in the middle of the floor. I looked over to see what was going on and then went back to jamming away and reading Twitter. The next thing I know, said spitter is shoving me into a corner by the exit doors and attempting to rip my Blackberry out of my hand. In a split second, I couldn’t figure out if it was a man or a woman, and just said to hell with it, knocked away their right arm with a Kenpo style low block with my left arm, and immediately threw a right hook into their throat. Ba-boom. Spitter fell back into the opposite doors on the ground holding their throat, without my BB in their hand any longer. Within seconds, we pulled into the Belmont station and I exited the train. I couldn’t tell you what happened after I left, but I just kept walking, fists clenched, anticipating an attack from behind. Nothing happened, and I went on my merry way to the gym***.
Summary:
I haven’t punched anyone in years. It’s not really in my nature (anymore) to be a fighter, and I try to avoid it. But, I’m wholly convinced that my Kenpo workout that morning played a role in my defense style. I don’t know what I would have done otherwise. So, thanks to P90X and Tony Horton for preventing another Twitter headline about a Red Line mugging. I hope that it doesn’t happen to me again, and I really hope that it doesn’t happen to any of you who read this. Stay safe out there. But, if anyone threatens you physically, know that a hook to the throat works wonders.
***I ended up not going swimming. I was too worked up and asked Brigit to go to Old Town Art Fair with me to have a beer instead.